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Thứ Bảy, 21 tháng 11, 2009

1. Introductory:
Are you a superstitious? Have you ever met big problem or unlucky situation on Friday thirteenth? Have you ever learnt with the person you hated? Have you ever got angry but you couldn’t do anything except keep silence? Have you ever tried to avenge yourself at any cost and after that you feel you’re silly? Have you ever hated someone to much and someday you realize that person is very important for you? All of things happen to Kha Ky, my close friend on Friday thirteenth in 2007. In her opinion, that day was the terrible day, as well as the most happiness and surprised in her life.

• Body
First paragraph: the situation Kha Ky met her tutor
• On that morning, about 8 o’clock, the phone was ringing when she slept.
• The tutor was a boy. He was standing in font of the door.
• She opened the door, and found out none there.
• She was complained; the man appeared behind her back.
• He made her surprised and annoyed.
Second paragraph: a first class unexpected
• He made her went to surprising thing to other surprising.
• She shocked because he was read a list of her bad habits.
• She had to listen his explain math. When he was teaching, her mind was flying in another world.
• When she couldn’t stand him any more she tried to avenge
Third paragraph: she had a surprised birthday party.
• She took his bike, and went away, cried
• Until 9 p.m, she came home with a lot of ideas about the way to against the man.
• Her house is dark without any light.
• When she entered, fireworks sparkled, and everybody sang “happy birthday song”.
• The tutor approached with a cheer smile: “blow candles, and make a wish”.
• At least, she realized he was the first boy she felt in love.
3. Conclusion:
A memorable birthday made her thought many thing of life. She was more mature. By her story, I appreciated that we often remember clearly bad things someone brings to us, and try to avenge them. But why don’t we write our hurts in the sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away? And when someone dos something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase. Always believe that everybody also care about private emotion of us. If we smile to life, the life always smiles back.

UNFORGETABLE MEMORABLE

Are you a superstitious? Have you ever met big problem or unlucky situation on Friday thirteenth? Have you ever learnt with the person you hated? Have you ever got angry but you couldn’t do anything except keep silence? Have you ever tried to avenge yourself at any cost and after that you feel you’re silly? Have you ever hated someone to much and someday you realize that person is very important for you? All of things happen to Kha Ky, my close friend on Friday thirteenth in 2007. In her opinion, that day was the terrible day, as well as the most happiness and surprised in her life.
Kha Ky was a reckless girl. On that morning, about 8 o’clock, the phone was ringing when she slept. She waked up with an angry face, said: “hello”. A man said: “excuse me, madam. I want to talk to your stubborn daughter”. She opened her eyes as wide as possible: “stubborn… it’s me. Why did you call me madam? The man was as cool as cucumber: “it’s you. I don’t know. Your voice is very old. I’m your tutor. I’m standing in font of your yard. Open the door”. She had no time to tidy herself up because the bell had rung. She opened the door, and found out none there. She complained: “you’re an ugly monkey, a fat pig”. Suddenly, the man appeared behind her back, said: “you have five minutes to tidy yourself up”. She was shy because of her own untidy appearance. She was annoyed.
The first class began with his introduction. She shocked because he was read a list of her bad habits: “get up late, singing as study, read Conan in toilet, don’t tidy bed after getting up, etc”. Her body looked like was frozen. She couldn’t answer back him although she was the most talkative in her class. She liked a puppet in his hands. She had to listen his explain math. When he was teaching, her mind was flying in another world. She thought: “He is old than me only two ages. He is a kid. Calm down!” She brainstormed to avenge. He knocked on the table with soft voice: “concentrate”. She started at the sound of his voice. She storm blusteringly: “you’re the most hateful I haven’t met before.”
She took his bike, and went away. She cried too much: “today is my birthday. None knows that. I hate mom, dad. I hate all over the world” Until 9 p.m, she came home with a lot of ideas about the way to against the man. Her house is dark without any light. “Maybe my parents are sleeping”, she predicted. She opened the door quietly. Immediately, fireworks sparkled, and everybody sang “happy birthday song” together. The tutor approached with a cheer smile: “blow candles, and make a wish”. After birthday party, he pushes her hand, and said “do you remember me? I’m Thien, Thu Ha’s brother. We haven’t met each other for 5 years. Sorry, I just want to make you improve math.” Her heart beat faster and faster. He was the first boy she felt in love. She burst into tears because of her happiness, and childless foolish ideas.
A memorable birthday made her thought many thing of life. That eighteenth birthday was meaningful. She was more mature.By her story, I appreciated that we often remember clearly bad things someone brings to us, and try to avenge them. But why don’t we write our hurts in the sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away? And when someone dos something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase. Always believe that everybody also care about private emotion of us. If we smile to life, the life always smiles back.

1 nhận xét:

  1. INTRODUCTION (2ms)
    - Background, hook 1
    - Thesis statement 1
    BODY (4.5ms)
    - Good ideas 2
    - Coherence, unity, development 2
    - Language: Grammar, vocabulary (1)
    CONCLUSION (2ms)
    - Summarize (1)
    - Lesson, suggestions (1)
    Total: 9

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